IBM's CEO Thinks Jamie Dimon's Anti-Texting Stance Is "Weird"—and He's Right

Okay, so Jamie Dimon wants everyone to stare blankly ahead during meetings, no phones allowed. Thinks it's disrespectful. Give me a break.

The Hypocrisy Is Thick Enough to Spread on Toast

Dimon, of course, is the same guy who's been dragging JPMorgan employees back into the office five days a week. Why? Because he needs to justify that shiny new $3 billion headquarters of theirs. Nineteen restaurants, a company store, a gym—it's practically a damn theme park. And he wants everyone to appreciate it, damn it.

So, let me get this straight: you force people to commute, waste time and gas, just to sit in a room and pretend to listen while you drone on? And we're the disrespectful ones for checking our phones?

The article quotes Dimon saying he saw a Zoom meeting where "all four people on the screen were on their phone." Yeah, no shit, Jamie. Maybe your Zoom meetings are boring as hell. Maybe people have actual work to do that can't wait for your rambling to end.

IBM's CEO, Arvind Krishna, gets it. He thinks telling people not to use their tech is "weird," especially at a tech company. IBM’s CEO disagrees with JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon’s disdain for texting in meetings: ‘Telling people they can’t use their technology would be weird’ He distinguishes between small and large meetings, which is actually... reasonable? Did I just agree with a CEO? Gross.

Krishna says if someone's glued to their phone in a small meeting, he'd tell them to "come back when you have time." Fair enough. But the idea that you need to be 100% focused, 100% of the time, is just delusional. We live in 2025, not 1950.

Multitasking Is a Survival Skill, Not a Crime

This Gary Rich dude, some executive coach, says multitasking is disrespectful and creates a "ripple effect." Oh, please. The real ripple effect is the one caused by pointless meetings that could have been an email.

Are manners "old fashioned?" Is listening to what’s happening in a meeting "old school?" Maybe. But maybe, just maybe, the entire concept of mandatory, hours-long meetings is the real dinosaur here.

I mean, let's be real, how many meetings have you been in where absolutely nothing gets accomplished? Where everyone just sits around nodding and pretending to listen while secretly browsing Reddit? I know I have. Probably why I'm so cynical, offcourse.

And what's with this obsession with "attention?" Are we all toddlers who need constant supervision? People can listen and absorb information even if they're not staring directly at the speaker with rapturous adoration.

Then again, maybe I'm just rationalizing my own bad habits. Maybe I should pay more attention in meetings. Nah.

The Future Is (Probably) Still Distracted

Look, the reality is that technology is integrated into every aspect of our lives. Expecting people to completely disconnect for hours at a time is unrealistic and, frankly, a waste of everyone's time.

If a meeting is engaging and valuable, people will pay attention. If it's not, they'll find something else to do. And that's not a sign of disrespect; it's a sign of efficiency.

It's also worth pointing out that Dimon's company is building AI tools that summarize meetings. So, he's simultaneously complaining about people not paying attention and creating technology that makes it easier to not pay attention. The irony is almost too much to handle.

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